| | Fly like a 747 | Gift Not Included | Seeing Eye Dog | Portuguese Business Man || Elevator | One Way | Ducks | Hippo | Cans | Cow | Ice Fishing | Front Seat | Pampers || Deduct | Fly like a 747 | Gift Not Included | Seeing Eye Dog | Portuguese Business Man || Elevator | One Way | Ducks | Hippo | Cans | Cow | Ice Fishing || Front Seat | Pampers || Deduct |

A Filipino man took a test for employment and was asked to make a sentence using the following words: Defense, Detail, Defeat, & Deduct. After a brief moment he replied, "Deduct jumped over Defense, first Defeat than Detail. [Top]

Two men were watching a 747 taking off and one of them said, "Isn't it amazing how so much metal can lift off the ground and fly?". "No!!" the other replied, "If you had that much pressure coming out of your butt you'd fly too!!".  [Top]

Last Christmas my neighbor, Bamby, gave me a small package. I opened it and found two AA batteries and a tag that read, "Gift Not Included" .... ha ha ha.. Try this one on a friend this Xmas.... [Top]

One day while cruising Wall Mart I saw this blind Mexican guy walking towards me as he was being pulled by his "Seeing Eye" dog. Suddenly he pulled the dog off the floor by it's leash as it choked and started swinging it around in a circle. A store clerk ran up to him and cried, " Mister, mister are you all right?" The man replied with his Mexican accent "Es no problem I'm just looking around!"....[Top]

Why did the Portuguese business man sit in a tree all day long? He wanted to be a branch manager.....[Top]

I entered the elevator and read a sign that said "Maximum capacity: 10 persons or 2 Samoans or 20 Filipinos" (A Billy G original)....[Top]

An officer of the law stopped a Filipino man driving the wrong way on a one way street. "Whas da matta" the man replied, "I know es one way... becus I go now and I no come back."!....[Top]

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks....[Top]

What is the difference between a hippopotamus and a large mother-in-law?
2 pounds.....

Manual and Philip petitioned the mayor to be first Hawaiian guys to go to the moon. "Why is it so important", the mayor asked. Manual glanced towards Philip as if asking for his okay to share their secret with the mayor. Manual said, "We like be there first so that we can pick up all the aluminum cans before da other guys" ...bg orig....[Top]

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef....

Two Hawaiian bruddahs decided to go fishing on ice for the first time. As they picked through the ice a voice rang out, "Noooo fishing here... "... "Wow" Kimo said, "Bruddah you heard that"? "No!" replied his bruddah. They continued to pick and again the voice rang out, " I said! Noooo fishing here... " Kimo gazed to the heaven and said, "Is that you?, our fish goddess Aumakua?".... "NO!!" the voice cried ... "This is the manager of Ice Palace......" [Top]

Only in Hawaii - Local boy's usually don't like to sit three in the front seat while the backs seat is empty....

Once I visited my sister and saw her little two year old go strolling by. "Hey sister", I cried, "look at your daughter's pampers, the bugga full with do do. She looked at me surprised and replied, "Nah cannot be! The box said it was good for 20 to 25 pounds....[Top]

If you have a boy baby you should name him Bud instead of any other name.  Why?  Because Budsweiser!

Hope you liked that... let me know and I'll put more later.. I'll add the new ones to the top of the list... Billy G.